Facebook seems to think I’m very interested in sports.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, just in case I actually AM interested in sports and just haven’t noticed, let me just cover it all at once.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yay (local sports team)! You have successfully scored more points than (opposing sports team). You are well on your way to (specific sports accolade). Go (colors representing local sports team), put that (medium around which sport is centered) in the (desired location to receive points).<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In honor of this achievement I will fire my gun in the air, secure in the knowledge that, because science and physics are bullshit, the bullets will never, ever come down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Thank you, (local sports team), for giving me a reason to do this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There. That should do it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
…yeah, I still don\u2019t get it.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-255","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t