In case you found you’re an Ophiuchus (also known as Serpentarius or “the Serpent Bearer), you are associated with healing and have an appreciation for numbers, but only aesthetically. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The classic Ophiuchus is loyal, however they reassess that loyalty every hour without fail and reserve the right to change it at a moment’s notice. They also have hinged jaws that allow them to swallow a small dog whole.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ophiuchus are also natural leaders, but it only applies to marching bands. They are able to sense gastric disturbances in bank tellers. In love, the Ophiuchus is attracted to warm rocks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you anger an Ophiuchus, you are likely to find your socks mismatched.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When Mercury is in retrograde, the Ophiuchus is likely to find themselves with an overwhelming urge to annex Wichita. Fortunately they are seldom aware of their overwhelming urges.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Oh it\u2019s true. There are 13. <\/p>\n
Okay, there aren\u2019t. But this is more fun.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-413","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t