‪Here’s where I get to use my favorite phrase in the English language:‬

‪I don’t know.‬

‪Having said that, I stand on no ground to make pronouncements or judge. I literally do not have the required knowledge or expertise, and in the absence of that the very worst thing I could to is claim that I have some sort of mastery of the subject.

I don’t know. ‪And I don’t have to know. 

I refuse to claim “internet expertise”. It seems utterly pointless to me. Perhaps, having at one time been firmly planted in a world without the internet, that is a luxury I can claim.

I will admit my first encounter with a transgendered person brought a discomfort that came from a lack of understanding. I didn’t quite know how to approach them. What was expected. But I recognized that the discomfort belonged to me, not them. It was mine, and so was mine to address. 

My frame of reference can only come from listening to the stories. If you want to understand someone, you have to listen. That is the only way to learn how they became who they are.

Those stories present the reality of a human being in front of me. How that person identifies does not change that one basic idea, and ultimately it only effects my life in terms of my own comfort. Whether I understand the conditions of their existence or not, this person does exist. They are tangible.

The most virulent anti-trans messages come from people who assume understanding. They equate a visceral feeling as comprehension. If I had assumed that my discomfort was enough knowledge on which to base my judgement, I might have gone that direction too.

But again, the discomfort belonged to me. Not them. If I had decided that their existence was responsible for my unease, it never would have left me. It would have built. Grown stronger. If I was disturbed by the color green, and blamed the color for being the cause to that effect, every spring would be torturous.

But more often than not, I am the cause to my own effect. Knowing that makes all the difference.

I don’t know. I don’t have to know. 

What I I do know is I have an obligation to other human beings to approach them with a level of human dignity commensurate with the level of humanity they present. That is a decision I have made.

That is my responsibility as a human being. That is my responsibility to the transgender community. 

And that is really all I have to know.